Awkward and Awesome!

Have you ever felt that way before? I did today. This afternoon as I was in the gym running on the treadmill. I noticed some guy looking at me. Not in a creepy way or anything. He looked away and then looked back at me again. It was a little awkward. I try to not really interact with anyone while I'm at the gym. I just sort of like to melt in the doors of the gym, workout, then leave without talking to anyone. Strange I know, but that's how I am. I don't understand why I'm like that. Everyone is so nice there. I guess I sort of like to just do my thing and then leave. Anyways, there I am running on the treadmill, there's that guy sort of looking at me and the whole time I'm trying to mind my own business. It was neat to actually realize that people are noticing me more. That hasn't happened to me in a very long time. It's kind of an awesome problem to have! LOL I think it's gonna take me a while to get used to people noticing me. I hope that doesn't sound conceited, I truly don't mean it to sound that way. It's just that after being fat for so long and having little to no self esteem, it's hard to know how to be and what to say when people either notice me or give me a compliment. Ya know what I mean? So, that's something I need to work on, trying to accept the positive things that people say to me.

This is something I noticed today while I was on the stair stepper machine. I was 10 minutes into my workout, doing the level 10 Interval setting, and I noticed that I was not sweating as hard as I used to, and that my breathing wasn't as labored as it used to be. I really think that I'm getting better. While I was on the machine, I was looking down to try to concentrate so that I wouldn't quit. I noticed my thighs are really getting a lot stronger. It's awesome! I love that I can actually feel and see my muscles in my body these days. All this hard work is paying off! It's not easy, not easy at all. Some times while I'm working out whether it's running, or doing the stair stepper machine, or whatever, I think to myself that it would be SO easy to just quit and just give up. Then I come to my senses and I throw that thought out of my head, and I think to myself "Just get through it! You can do it! It's only a couple minutes of pain then you can stop when your workout is over with." That's what keeps me going. Plus I love the payoff that working out gives me. I just feel really good after I've worked out. And plus I love what working out does for my body! I love that I can see my arm muscles! It's exciting to know that as I'm melting off the fat that I am getting stronger at the same time. When I was at my heaviest weight, I could have been considered an apple shape. Just round all over the place. I think it's neat that I can actually sculpt my body to how I want it to look. I've seen some people that are really round to begin with, then they just diet without doing the exercise. They look like they're smaller, but a smaller shape of what they were when they were heavy. Like they went from being a big apple shape to a smaller apple shape. Who wants that? It's just neat to actually have the power to change the way we look by doing the work, by eating right and exercising. No pills, no unhealthy garbage that the world tried their darnedest to sell us. Just good old hard work! Isn't it interesting that with every weight loss pill commercial that you see, look closely at the TEENY TINY print at the bottom of the screen. What does it say? "Use in conjunction with proper Diet and Exercise." So those Diet pills don't work that great after all if you still need to eat right and exercise? I think people should stop trying to look for that magic pill to lose the weight and just do the work necessary to get the results you want. Right? Right!

Well anyways, I guess it's time for me to stop rambling. I'm starting to not even understand what it is that I"m typing. I'm a little tired I guess. Anyways, you all have a good night! Later!