I had WHAT?!?!

I just realized today that when I was at my heaviest weight, I had a case of Sitonyourbuttitis! I had that disease for AGES! For years I was sick and didn't know about it until now! Now that I'm leading a much healthier life style, I am able to see how very unhealthy my habits were. In a way I'm so ashamed of the lazy person that I used to be. I hate looking at my "Before" picture! It truly makes me shutter when I think that had I not started doing something about my unhealthy ways 1 year and 6 months ago, I would STILL be at 195 pounds, or more. How could I let myself slide into such unhealthy, lazy ways? It's strange because it all happened so slowly that one day I looked in the mirror and I wondered who that woman looking back at me in the mirror was. It's like I lost who the real "me" was behind all the fat that just started to smother who I was, and my spirit. I lost me in all that fat. The stupid thing is that I have absolutely NO ONE TO BLAME but myself! I am not going to blame all the fast food industries for making me fat. They didn't force me to eat their food. The only thing the fast food industry is guilty of is marketing their products well. And I'm the one who fell for it! DANGET!!! And all that money that I spent on not only fast food but sweets and junk food that I bought, and ate all the while thinking that food would cure some emotion, or boredom, or whatever. I was stupid. It's like I was living life with my eyes wide shut for years, and now I'm opening my eyes. I'm realizing that there's so much more to life than just food. There's so much more to me than just the fat.
I realize and acknowledge that I am the owner of my own temple, and that I am the one who needs to take care of it. No one else can do that for me.

I believe in myself now as before I doubted myself and my ability to do things.

I love that I wake up each morning to wanting to LIVE each day for my family and for the people I love, and for myself instead of just existing in life.

I love that I love myself more these days and that I put myself back on the list of people to take care of.

I love that I know that I am worthy of all the effort it takes to achieve my goals, and that I am making achieving those goals a reality!

I love who I am these days and I'm never going back to the old me!